Shannon Philpott-Sanders

Nice to Meet Me

My name is Shannon and I like to run, sing, and dance around by myself. I truly like cutting the grass with the sun shining on my shoulders. I like to listen to music – any music – that makes me want to dance and I like to people watch and daydream. It’s nice to meet me.

I’ve always known ‘things’ about myself – I’m a mom, a partner, a teacher, an adviser, a friend, a colleague, a sister, a daughter and a neighbor – but I’ve always felt a little lost consumed by all of these roles. I wasn’t sure who I truly was and what I liked.

As a mom, I’m often worried about preparing (or buying) the meals my children like, picking out movies that are appropriate and to their liking. As a friend, I often think about how others would like to spend their time or participate in the activities that they find amusing. As a teacher and adviser, I tend to make myself available when it is convenient for my students.

I’ve never stepped back to evaluate my likes, dislikes or preferences because in all of these roles, my life has been wrapped around someone or something else.

All of this changed this weekend. As fate would have it (and it normally doesn’t), I had a weekend to myself – I mean, just me. The first night I panicked. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. There were tears, I won’t lie. I felt lonely, overwhelmed, abandoned and even self pity.

After my pity party, I decided to really explore me. It was time to meet me.

So, I put on my dancing shoes and did Zumba in the living room. I caked my face in spa treatments and manicured up my nails. I cleaned out the car (no, I mean REALLY cleaned it), cut the grass, folded 2 loads of laundry and sorted through my summer clothes. I took the dog on several walks, I ran a 5k with my niece, I graded a few papers, I iced my knees and I watched old episodes of Saturday Night Live.

I went to a local coffee shop and watched an old couple hold hands and look at each other as if they had just met.  I took naps – lots of them. I took a shower without someone ripping back the shower curtain. I ate dinner out by myself. I actually felt comfortable being alone and found that I was pretty good company.

The moral of the story is not that I would rather be alone – I couldn’t wait for my family to come walking back through that door – but more so, that I needed to be alone to reacquaint myself with me. The better I know myself, the better I can be a great mom, a best friend, a rockin’ sister and daughter and an energized teacher and adviser.

A weekend to myself was a blessing in disguise because after a very long, emotional and exhausting year, I learned one very important lesson. I like me. I really, really like me.

Shannon Philpott
Blog Entry: May 1, 2011

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May 1, 2011 - Posted by sphilpott | Blog, Reflecting | alone time, coping with loneliness, education, getting to know yourself, mom's day out, parenting, quiet time, Teaching