Marriage or Divorce? Which One Will Kill You First?
It’s no secret that divorce sends couples on an emotional rollercoaster. Regardless of how amicable the split is, there are periods of grief, anger, denial, self doubt and sometimes, even malicious behavior toward each other.
Aware of the pain, grief, and fear divorce may cause to the couple, children, family, and friends, I have always advocated that staying in an unhealthy marriage or unfitting relationship causes much more pain and grief for all parties involved.
Divorce is not a get out of jail card, it is not a trial and error opportunity, nor is it a lazy act by couples that didn’t try, as many critics claim. In reality, divorce is usually the last option, the last chance to salvage any type of friendship or co-parenting relationship.
I know – I’m divorced. Continue reading
Weathering the Storm with Rainbows
Published Fall 2003 in The Steward’s Review, quarterly magazine for the Diocese of Belleville, Ill.
Sitting at a small table in a school cafeteria, approximately 10 students gather to talk. One student expresses anger, another expresses disbelief, while a third says she is finally at peace. Though their feelings drift from one extreme to the next, all of these students have one thing in common – they have experienced a significant loss through divorce or death.
Recognizing the need for a program in the Belleville Diocese to help children heal from loss, Rainbows was formed at Holy Trinity with the support of an Annual Bishop’s Appeal Fund for Ministry grant. The program provides children with a confidential forum to express feelings, raise doubts and ask questions about the loss they have experienced and changes in their family environment, such as routine, responsibility and living arrangements. Continue reading