When I was younger, I was fortunate enough to live next door to a very wise and patient lady. Each day after school I would make my way over to Joan and Jim’s house and soak up the advice she gave me on a regular basis.
Joan never preached to me and never intentionally pushed advice on me, but her words stuck with me throughout my entire adolescence. She was very wise and one of the most influential women I’ve ever come into contact with.
I was convinced that Joan knew something about everything (and still do). I would plant myself in her kitchen or at the piano in the dining room while she prepared dinner and would tell me about what she was cooking. I would run errands with her and listen as she patiently would tell me why she purchased the items she did. I would take walks with Joan and listen to her talk about her Weight Watchers meetings and the exercises we should try.
Joan gave me advice about friends, family problems and love. She showed me just how strong of a woman she was with every piece of advice and she motivated me to be just as strong and wise.
She was overflowing with information and I scrambled to absorb it all. As I got older, though, and friends and boyfriends took up more of my time, I lost out on those frequent sessions. Sure, I would hop over now and then, but my teen years took over and Joan’s advice didn’t stick as long as I hoped … or so I thought.
Today I was cleaning out my closet and preparing to pick out clothes for my first week back at school since winter break. I counted 12 pairs of leggings and 5 pairs of stretchy pants. And then I heard Joan’s advice.
“Stretchy pants make you fat.”
She wasn’t in my closet or even in my house, but her words were so clear as they had been 25 years ago when I took one of those long walks with her. “Don’t ever wear stretchy pants,” Joan said as we checked our pedometers. “Stretchy pants make you fat, Gus.”
And she was right. I have worn out my stretchy pants over the holiday break. While, those stretchy pants fit just fine after a three-week hiatus from my structured routine, the pants with buttons … not so much.
I wish more than anything that I still lived next door to Joan. I miss her advice and precautionary tales, I miss her loving smile and warm hug and most of all, I miss being able to fit into my pants.
– Shannon Philpott
Blog Entry: Jan. 18, 2010
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5 thoughts on “Stretchy Pants Make You Fat”
Funny… I always thought that eating too much makes you fat.
Joan was right, though. You (generic) can look stunning in tailored slacks or a good pair of jeans, but throw on some spandex, and you’re just another overstuffed sausage.
I’m really not happy about leggings making a comeback. I look like a overstuffed sausage without any help!
You’re right, Buff. I just eat too much when I have on stretchy pants. I expand without realizing it 🙂
Just the other day I had a similar conversation…why is it that very fat people tend to wear the tight stretchy clothing? I get it now. My question has finally been answered! Haha!
Dear Gus: It made me cry to think that that was 25 years ago and I wish with all my heart that you still visited our piano and came to see us. You have no idea how good that made us feel. I have one comment. Judging by my girth as I have gotten older, I should have taken my advice and thrown out all those d—- stretchy pants. I love you. Joan
I WISH WITH ALL MY HEART THAT YOU WERE STILL A TEENAGER LIVING NEXT STORE ANX THZT I HAD TAKEN MY ADVICE. LOVE YOU GUS.