It’s no secret that divorce sends couples on an emotional rollercoaster. Regardless of how amicable the split is, there are periods of grief, anger, denial, self doubt and sometimes, even malicious behavior toward each other. Aware of the pain, grief, and fear divorce may cause to the couple, children, family, and friends, I have always advocated that staying in an unhealthy marriage or unfitting relationship causes much more pain and grief for all parties involved. Divorce is not a get out of jail card, it is not a trial and error opportunity, nor is it a lazy act by couples that didn’t try, as many critics claim. In reality, divorce is usually the last option, the last chance to salvage any type of friendship or co-parenting relationship. I know – I’m divorced. Six years after my divorce, I feel content, healthier and happier with my life and with the well-being of my children. However, a recent study by the University of Chicago and Johns Hopkins University (as reported by LifeSiteNews.com) suggests that I’m the exception. "The study found that divorced or widowed people have 20 percent more chronic health conditions, such as heart disease, diabetes, or cancer, than married people. They also have 23 percent more mobility limitations, such as trouble climbing stairs or walking a block. Further, people who remarried have 12 percent more chronic conditions and 19 percent more mobility limitations, but no more depressive symptoms, than those who are continuously married." The word “chronic” here is what bothers me. I can definitely concur that during the divorce process and for at least a year or two following my divorce, my health faltered accompanied by an emotional rollercoaster. The same applies when individuals suffer the loss of a family member or close friend. Grief is debilitating, but it doesn’t have to be “chronic.” But, for some it is, and I wonder if it is a comment or two like this from the article that sends the emotional rollercoaster of divorcees from acute to chronic: “By faith we know that in the beginning God created marriage for the good of spouses and the procreation of the race. Now research confirms that health is also better for people who stay married. No surprise. Faith and reason go together confirming the same truth: What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” – Fr. Thomas Dufner Maybe it’s not the divorce that is to blame for “chronic” health conditions but rather the guilt and judgment from others. - Shannon Philpott Blog Entry: July 30, 2009 © Shannon Philpott, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Shannon Philpott and shannonphilpott.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Month: July 2009
Life is Not a Box of Chocolates … Anymore
Although I hate to quote Forrest Gump, I’m gonna. I used to think that life was like a box of chocolates. There were surprises in every bite, the smooth, creamy texture was calming, and just the scent of it energized me. That was until I read the label. Read more at http://www.shannonphilpott.com
Writing From the Grave
Death is so taboo. People fear it, avoid discussing it, and shudder at the thought of it. In reality, though, death opens up someone’s life story. When a person dies, his or her life’s story unfolds and then becomes newsworthy. To counteract feelings of despair, family, friends, and co-workers reflect on the deceased, tell stories of the past, and ingrain this person’s image and likeliness with memories. Read more at http://www.shannonphilpott.com
People to See, Places to Go
People amaze and inspire me. People annoy and frustrate me. Most of all, though, people interest me. I’m a people person in many ways – just not in the way that most think. A people person is often defined as someone who is constantly socializing, making connections, and attracting followers - the type that has uncanny charisma working the room in elegant fashion. That’s not me.
Social Media Overload
I’ve spent the past few days immersed, overwhelmed, delighted, and frustrated with social media. As participants in the Associated Collegiate Press Summer Journalism Workshops in Minneapolis, Minn. four of my students and I have been bombarded with high-tech options for reinventing and improving the standards for student newspaper publishing.
Dirty Little Secrets
I have a secret. More than likely, you have a secret, too. What would it take to convince you to divulge that secret? Maybe fear, maybe attention, maybe guilt. For some, a postcard will do the trick.
Home is Never Too Far Away
I’ve never considered myself a homebody. I love to travel, I love to see new places, and I love to witness the unique culture of each city I visit. For some reason, though, I tend to be a homebody when I’m not at home.
Fat Dog in a Little Coat
As humans, our obsession with weight haunts us every minute of the day. Many of us weigh ourselves incessantly, critique every inch of our bodies and constantly evaluate how “fat” we are in the mirror.
Yep, I Like Hannah Montana
I admit it. I like Hannah Montana. Her songs are on my iPod, the car radio is often tuned to Disney Channel, and I know all the words to the theme of her TV show. I tried my hardest not to like her – told others that it was my daughter’s music and that as a mom, I was forced to watch her show and listen to the Disney Channel. But, I’m coming clean – I’ve taken a liking to the pop princess’ style, lyrics, and even her alter ego, Miley.
Hospice of Southern Illinois Comforts Entire Family at the End of Life
Margaret Hettenhausen is not afraid to die. Lying comfortably in a chair in her own home, she strokes her beloved cat, Missy, and says, “I’m not afraid; I’m ready.” Two months ago, Hettenhausen was driving a car; today she is unable to walk without support. The 92-year old is suffering from ovarian cancer. She may live two more days – two more years.
Shannon Philpott-Sanders 